I’m giving up on us
Hi awak,
You should be able to see that long message I left you. Unless if you choose to ignore, and I could never know that.
Anyway, it had been for almost 6 months: the thought to give up on you, on us. Every time I had that thought, I always gave myself a chance.
“It’s okay. He might re-think and come back”.
“It’s okay. He might reply you soon enough”.
“It’s okay. He might cleared up his head and say let’s resume what we left”.
I must be a joke to you right? What did I was thinking and expecting when you already tell me your decision?
I’m not sure myself.
I guess we went too deep, and I just can’t seem to completely let it go. Probably and most likely,,, yes I believe that. I just need time to understand and digest what you said and meant to say. Directly and indirectly. Most of the time, I was trying to figure out any indirect@ non existent things/hints you told me. When that direct things were staring at me the whole time.
Anyway, awak.
Just to let you know, I have been desperate to speak to you directly. I know to speak and meet in person might be difficult. But surely you can manage to get on phone and have heart to heart conversation. I honestly think that you were badly hurt and did not want to think anything about relationship at this moment. You might have told me before, but can you just tell me again one more time so that I don’t feel irritated/depressed about being left and not answered.
At least don’t let me make my own assumptions. It’s tiring.
I am honestly feel tired hoping for something unforeseen/ not about to happen. Well, I guess if I could wait until you are ready, then most likely the problem is solved. But unfortunately, I can’t control myself. What you want is something in 3 years time, but I want it in 6 months time. Of course, people will say, if I remain patient, I can get what I want.
But why people does not argue about the other way around? As if, my plan to get marry is wrong.
”If you expect me to understand and compromise, why can’t you do the same? Try to put yourself in my shoes. Did I ever ask for moon and stars from you? ”
Anyway. I did put myself in your shoes. I guess nothing much can be done now. So that why you been in total silent. I guess so. I assume so.
So, now I am giving up on you. Definitely on us.
Not that because I hate you, but because I love you and want it that much that it is too hurtful.
And I just wish you could put yourself in my shoes and forgive me.
You should be able to see that long message I left you. Unless if you choose to ignore, and I could never know that.
Anyway, it had been for almost 6 months: the thought to give up on you, on us. Every time I had that thought, I always gave myself a chance.
“It’s okay. He might re-think and come back”.
“It’s okay. He might reply you soon enough”.
“It’s okay. He might cleared up his head and say let’s resume what we left”.
I must be a joke to you right? What did I was thinking and expecting when you already tell me your decision?
I’m not sure myself.
I guess we went too deep, and I just can’t seem to completely let it go. Probably and most likely,,, yes I believe that. I just need time to understand and digest what you said and meant to say. Directly and indirectly. Most of the time, I was trying to figure out any indirect@ non existent things/hints you told me. When that direct things were staring at me the whole time.
Anyway, awak.
Just to let you know, I have been desperate to speak to you directly. I know to speak and meet in person might be difficult. But surely you can manage to get on phone and have heart to heart conversation. I honestly think that you were badly hurt and did not want to think anything about relationship at this moment. You might have told me before, but can you just tell me again one more time so that I don’t feel irritated/depressed about being left and not answered.
At least don’t let me make my own assumptions. It’s tiring.
I am honestly feel tired hoping for something unforeseen/ not about to happen. Well, I guess if I could wait until you are ready, then most likely the problem is solved. But unfortunately, I can’t control myself. What you want is something in 3 years time, but I want it in 6 months time. Of course, people will say, if I remain patient, I can get what I want.
But why people does not argue about the other way around? As if, my plan to get marry is wrong.
”If you expect me to understand and compromise, why can’t you do the same? Try to put yourself in my shoes. Did I ever ask for moon and stars from you? ”
Anyway. I did put myself in your shoes. I guess nothing much can be done now. So that why you been in total silent. I guess so. I assume so.
So, now I am giving up on you. Definitely on us.
Not that because I hate you, but because I love you and want it that much that it is too hurtful.
And I just wish you could put yourself in my shoes and forgive me.
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