Short comic on my previous love line


I think these short comic pretty much summed up the relationship.

The phase where I opened my heart.
The phase where I gave all my heart.
The phase where he gave all OK in return for my heart.
The phase where he has to break my heart for his others' hearts.
The phase where I broke his heart because yes, my heart was broken.
The phase where his heart is broken until nothing can undone it.
The phase where I pretty much missed the train. Like literally in a probably one way route.

Hmm. I guess I never hate him even now. I mean, he was someone who used to be inside my heart. But now we are just two persons who eventually were and are broken.

Not that there is no love. Probably there is just not much tolerance.
And yes, maybe as he said; maybe we are just not meant to be together.
I don't know about that but yes, sure. I will understand that, awak.

For all the roller coaster feeling and emotion, thank you.

# p/s: 15/4/2020 is the date I realized it is actually and really a one way route. I knew I missed the train, it just I never thought it was one way route

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

We might love each other but in different tone. And we broke up because of it

 I think, he left me because he might felt he was not financially stable to support both of us. Partly because he has no permanent job at that time. All is freelance and he partly need his PhD allowance for his living. And then COVID 19 happened. He lost his income; no part time and his PhD was also affected. I was at that time told him, I could not wait for him to finish his PhD and for him to get job. He was talking about future, tentatively at age of 32 of his and 31 of mine. Basically he was asking me to wait for another 4 years. No, actually he did not ask me wait. I just simply told him I can’t wait that long. Probably that blew him off. You see; that point of time I was thinking we should just get married. I was talking about now. Never mind about your job, your PhD. Because those are all about future. After all, if you really want me, you want me sooner better. Not that I was not thinking about you and your future. I never asked you to quit your PhD. Instead, I do wish ...
Read more

2020 is both bless and disaster

  2020. The number look nice. After all, since childhood, people keep saying wawasan 2020 and all those flying car etc. The real 2020 was contradicting. Not much of progression I would say. Personally, 2020 is a total lost for my horsemanship training. Not that I am really enthusiastic to become doctor, but because of COVID situation, there is so much thing me as houseman missed out. Be it in district hospital or tertiary big hospital, KKM made it clear to protect the housemen. So anything relating to COVID and risk of airborne transmissions, the houseman should not be around. So, CPR, intubation, airway management; things that hands on are learnt in ED department, we all missed out. Honestly it was a total lost. Number of patients also reduced (since currently I am in PPUM) and we have thing known as triage away. It basically to limit the crowd in working area and reduce the chance of transmission between doctors, nurses and patients in the same area. Not sure how the KKM hospital...
Read more

The rings should be with you

Image
Hi awak, This most likely will be the last entry about me-you-us-getting back together. I think I did my best to draw your attention and us getting back together. But the stronger I come to you, the harder I feel that you push me away. It just feel anyway because memang tak ada respons from you. I just wish we can have a sit and talk. Tapi, entah maybe it just not working for you.  So, I have to give way to your way for that.  The rings; engagement ring are with me all these while.  I love it, and you knew it. So, that's why awak suruh saya simpan even though kita dah putus tunang. But I think that is just too hard for me too. Sebab I can't wear it. Otherwise, I will be reminded of us again. I can't sell it sebab your mom yang pilih and belikan. So, rasa serba salah. Honestly if awak yang belikan, saya akan jual lah sebab no point kan untuk simpan. Not like we will be back together anyway. So, I'm returning it to you. It's actually rude untuk pulangkan through posta...
Read more