Yesterday was a crying day
2 days straight.
After I learnt that he just want to be friend with me. That relationship beyond friendship is almost impossible- I definitely need someone to talk to.
Oh my god, it was heavy for me. For all I know, my heart sunk and shredded into pieces. And I cant tell anyone about it. It's frustrating and it's definitely killing me inside.
I am amazed that it is easy for him: not that he loose anything about ending our relationship.
I just want to tell a bit of it (my frustration) to my parents and it was called for mocking/scold. To them, I was the one who call off the engagement anyway. I was the one who made the rush decision to end it. It's funny that I was telling them anyway. None of them knew what is heartbroken and what move on means. They thought me didn't move on for 3 months is enough. But what they did not know I once not move on for 3 years.
My mom said just find new guy. Mom, you don't understand, do you?
I called for you, more than 20 times. Maybe more than 30 times. Not sure how many. I was hoping that you could pick up the phone and listen to me. I mean, you are the only one who know why I feel frustrated deep down inside my heart and thoughts.
It's kinda awkward but I really need someone to speak to and before I know, I reached for my MOs who I think as my friend. No. He didn't know why I feel frustrated. But I just wanted to cry outloud and someone listen to me. To just say, it is okay for me to cry. Thank you for keeping my sanity in check.
This feel so suffocated. So frustrating. So disturbing. And honestly, I want a break from work. I need time to heal my heart. But no one understand this.
You know what I learnt yesterday?
I AM A MAN ON MY OWN.
My parents do not understand me.
The one I gave my heart to; choose to say, give it to someone else.
The one I trusted, tore my heart in pieces.
It's my failure, my frustration, my disappointment: I can brawl as much as I want so long it did not disturb other people.
To the WHOLE WORLD, THANK YOU FOR SAYING NO.
Last but not least, I want to say I LOVE YOU that it hurts this much.
And I feel a lot lighter after I told you that I love you.
It's late but it still what I feel.
After I learnt that he just want to be friend with me. That relationship beyond friendship is almost impossible- I definitely need someone to talk to.
Oh my god, it was heavy for me. For all I know, my heart sunk and shredded into pieces. And I cant tell anyone about it. It's frustrating and it's definitely killing me inside.
I am amazed that it is easy for him: not that he loose anything about ending our relationship.
I just want to tell a bit of it (my frustration) to my parents and it was called for mocking/scold. To them, I was the one who call off the engagement anyway. I was the one who made the rush decision to end it. It's funny that I was telling them anyway. None of them knew what is heartbroken and what move on means. They thought me didn't move on for 3 months is enough. But what they did not know I once not move on for 3 years.
My mom said just find new guy. Mom, you don't understand, do you?
I called for you, more than 20 times. Maybe more than 30 times. Not sure how many. I was hoping that you could pick up the phone and listen to me. I mean, you are the only one who know why I feel frustrated deep down inside my heart and thoughts.
It's kinda awkward but I really need someone to speak to and before I know, I reached for my MOs who I think as my friend. No. He didn't know why I feel frustrated. But I just wanted to cry outloud and someone listen to me. To just say, it is okay for me to cry. Thank you for keeping my sanity in check.
This feel so suffocated. So frustrating. So disturbing. And honestly, I want a break from work. I need time to heal my heart. But no one understand this.
You know what I learnt yesterday?
I AM A MAN ON MY OWN.
My parents do not understand me.
The one I gave my heart to; choose to say, give it to someone else.
The one I trusted, tore my heart in pieces.
It's my failure, my frustration, my disappointment: I can brawl as much as I want so long it did not disturb other people.
To the WHOLE WORLD, THANK YOU FOR SAYING NO.
Last but not least, I want to say I LOVE YOU that it hurts this much.
And I feel a lot lighter after I told you that I love you.
It's late but it still what I feel.
Comments
Post a Comment